Had an argument with some coworkers last night regarding the death penalty, specifically the notion that one should be able to claim insanity as a defense. They both felt it was ridiculous and that if a person was legally proven to have committed murder then death was the correct and only viable option for handling the situation.
This appalled me for several reasons: first, the argumentation used to support their point of view was virtually nonexistent (something like, killing is bad and since it wasn’t self defense they should die), second, as someone who often feels a little fucking crazy, on some level it is oddly comforting to know that if I ever go completely bonkers and do something entirely wrong and reprehensible (such as killing someone), there might actually be some sort of structure set up to determine if I was in fact crazy at the time, and thus was not simply some latent evildoer who had suddenly come to life.
And finally, and at least to me, most importantly, these people seemed to believe that they were right to have the opinions they did for no reason…no research had been done, no moral vacillation had occurred, it was simply ‘I think this and so I’m right and that’s it’.
So I argued as I could but of course it was useless. And today after having done a good bit of research and read a decent amount of things, I have arrived in strange waters (surprise!) It seems that aside from any moral objections one may or may not have to capital punishment, it is simply not economically viable, nor has it ever really been. The downside of this, though it does support my stance, even if not morally, is that my only recourse to debating people about the issue seems to be fucking money…which is sad state of affairs.
So it goes.
Also, I love you.
Just as two liquids cannot be separated once mixed, we are forever a part of one another, and shall ever after be, no matter the distance/space/circumstance. You are now a fact of me, a descriptive characteristic, like the sea is vast and the night sky is majestic.
The fire that burns inside of you reflects in your brilliant eyes and fiery hair, things etched into my memory permanently.
I am calmed by the recognition of the depth of my feelings for you, and this is enough to say.
I am full of doubt. And the unfortunate burden that doubt is crowds out too many things to mention, so many possibilities are here and gone like leaves blown through an open hallway.
So many beautiful things are visible these days, and so many beautiful feelings to accompany them, and maybe just the knowledge that my life is not devoted to beauty, adoring and reveling in and propagating beauty, is what saddens me, for I see no reason to do anything else.
This is not the world for that though, not yet at least, maybe not ever, but some things call me to take heart and continue on as though my dreams were realities, soak up the ephemeral rays of joy radiating inside my head/heart/soul. I figure that the only thing to do is spread whatever joy and truth I have within me, and maybe some seed will take root in another and grow there, and slowly the world will change on down the long and tempestuous line, into a truly Edenic Garden, somewhere with Dream Trees and Wonder Grass and frolicking rollicking laughter/love/happiness in abundance.
In the meantime though, there is much work to do, and much to overcome.